State of Confusion

‘Men are BASTARDS.’ Yes you heard me say it. The saying above I have heard most of my lady friends say. To my respond to that statement ‘Yes they are’. I can’t deny the fact that most men give a bad name to their gender. Nor am I saying that the opposite is sacred, pure and holy. Both with flaws which we can have a never ending bitch about. I have loads of single lady friends between the late 20 early 30’s. I find this group of ladies much easier to talk to, mature and do not live under any pretenses. Their only problem is that they are not married and their biological clock is ticking. Some maybe are in a relationship and their boyfriends are too afraid to plunge into Marriage or still fooling around. I think I understand who these women feel. They don’t have any stability.

These women have only one thing in mind. How/When are we going to settle down? Have a family. As they go through life in and out of relationship or get their man to plunge, they begin to think that they don’t need the man. Men are useless anyway; they say they can’t depend on them (see I’m not denying anything here). All the woman needs from a man is his sperm. From there she can take care of everything else. This has been in the thought of these women I have befriended with. Not a bad idea you think. There are so many single moms out there anyway. To be honest I have been coaxed to agree to give my sperm to this whom will not be named if she is not married at a certain age. The agreement is I give the sperm and I don’t take responsibility for the kid.

Before you pass judgment on me saying how disgusting Mark is, typical male! Please let me highlight that I was COAXED. A typical men given the choice to have sex with a lady with no string attach seems very appealing. Hey that’s a one night stand anyway. But to give a lady a child and not be a part of it disturbs me. You can say I brought up lil old school I would like to be with the person (Preferably loved and cherished) when she has the kid and be apart of the kids life. But why did I agree to proposal, because I thought she might be joking and she was in a relationship. It was a strong relationship which I was very sure it would end in marriage. Now she is no longer is in one and don’t believe in one no more. We chatted online the other day when she brought this issue back again.

She said, she no longer wants a relationship, all she wants is a baby and she is set for life. This made me afraid, guess who has to give the sperm I don’t really think I am up for it. I’m about to share something horrible here read the next paragraph if your goody too shoes I will not think any less of you. There is a part of me (the moral side of me) that says this is not good and all and there is another side of me the EVIL me (Always seen when totally drunk currently being suppressed) that says hey this is free unattached sex, you haven’t had much action recently and people you know are moving forward, getting married and what not while you stay alone and slog for the company. Besides your doing a friend a favour and it won’t hurt it in anyway. She asked u. As you can see my evil side has really have an ugly face.

I really don’t know what to do, yes its simple as saying follow your conscience its always right but the Evil me lives in me too its kind of hard not to listen to him. For now I will just let things be nor will I confront her till she confronts me. Let sleeping dogs lie.