Diary: Hectic Week

This week has been hell bound, I’ve been under pressure from my Director about how my conduct of my team has been. Due to this I have doubted my managerial skills, to be honest I feel kind of washed out. To err is to be human, but I cannot accept that fact. It’s true that I have too much on my plate and I should share my responsibilities around. But I don’t see anyone capable enough. For example I ask one of my team do a Maxis testing over the weekend but the job was done half hearted and I noticed many of them are giving me the attitude (Marina not you), I think its because of how I treat my staff. It looks like I need to be more stern and heartless a bit. What really pissed me off was my Director threatened me, don’t they know I don’t response well when I’m threatened. Overall I’m just disappointed with myself.

Lenny’s mum has been severely ill. The boy is taking care of her. Lenny has been hit by bad spell every single time. This weekend he is suppose to move into his new apartment with his mum. Morgan has just became a father, he called me up last week to ask how we were and to tell us the good news. It’s nice to read that some of my friends are moving on, Shari best of luck, and yes never keep your hopes up. Disappointments are a so painful. Guess what Shari; I’m also on the same boat as you. But I can’t get the person out of my mind. I think she think me as a friend only…. Hmmmm. What to do? What to do?

Saturday was a lazy day, I woke up went to the market got myself some wanton mee and did what I normally do, which is watched cartoons. Nothing better than watching Kim Possible save the day on a Saturday. Apparently mum didn’t make lunch so I skipped lunch. I watched a French movie which I got on DVD. Must say it was quite a good movie. Thank God for subtitles, it was a martial arts action flick called B13. Recommend to all those who buys pirated DVD’s. I and Dad had an argument when I said I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t really feel like going.

Sunday I woke up at about 7, got myself freshen up headed to KLCC for a nice peaceful breakfast. I had my favorite Caramel Cappuccino and a some chicken pie for breakfast. It was nice to seat down with a news paper while slurping your coffee. After breakfast I headed to St Joseph’s church not for mass but for the blood donation. As you can say I’m kind of a rare blood type I was taken care of quite well. While the nurse preps me she tells to the other nurse. ‘–B kena ambik 3 bottle ah, dulu ambik satu aje’. M twisted mind began laughing out loud. I was thinking how the nurse was actually milking the cow, which is me. Mum made her usual feast back at home, then it was chores and CSI Sunday

The English Patient, Body Shop and Me

Last weekend I woke up at 10 in the morning made myself a nice BIG breakfast. I made sausages, cheese eggs and burnt toast (on purpose). After making that I was in front of the TV watching my favorite cartoons. I decided to make use the meat that was lying n the fridge. I decided to make wanton, it wasn’t really hard just folding the wanton’s were the problem while preparing, I put in the English Patient DVD. I think we all have heard about the movie. A great love story that won 9 Oscar awards back in 1996. The movie was actually quite interesting; it’s not for those who are still in the adolescent stage who their favorite genre is toilet jokes and action flicks. The movie stars Ralph Fiennes and Kristen Scott Thomas. Beware that the story line is a little draggy by the context of it all was excellent. I give it 4 stars for excellent script writing, story line and the heat of passion between Ralph Fiennes and Kirsten Scott. For those who have seen it please do comment about it in my blog. Thank you.

Andrew came back while I was doing wanton. He was a hungry ghost so I fried the wanton and we had lunch together. He soon later headed to the room for a lil study. All of my brothers are getting ready for their major exams. Andrew is getting ready for PMR which is on the Oct 3rd and Alex, his STPM trials this week. Those guys will definitely do better than me, I’m very certain of it; they are destined for great and better things. I feel a lil jealous sometimes.

One of my gal pals introduced me to body scrub from Body shop and I used it and I must say it felt good. Oh God I sound gay, but nevertheless being a metro sexual man it’s expected off. I was glued to the TV again for AE05. It was held in the Putra Stadium at Bukit Jalil, they even had a Red Carpet session which was a laughing stock. Its not often you see your celebrity come in Waja in it. The show as actually quite good but I do have to criticize on the stage being small and the camera kept showing from a far distance. Other than that all of it was splendid, I enjoyed the show the acts well mention is Ziana Zain’s opening and Siti’s performance of course.

Sunday was Aunt B’s birthday and we all headed to Klang to celebrate it. I got her the Codex which I think she will enjoy

Did anyone catch Ed this week? The Episode was about the loving married couple, the husband was asking his wife for 24 hours of freedom to do ANYTHING he wanted to do for his birthday. The wife agrees under the condition that Ed tells her everything he did that night. Ed was reluctant of the whole idea as it crossed his principles and mine I guess. I time and time again said in this blog I have no clue why married men or steady boy friends stray from their partner. I could never understand the reason, when they had this episode I thought finally maybe now I can understand why?

So the story goes that the man hangs on to a bar try to pick up a gal he doesn’t manage till later in the night where he meets one of his clients. Ed tries to talk him out of it but you know men, always following their dicks then their brain. The next day the guy comes over and is smug about it but he then pleads to Ed not to tell his wife about the sex he had the previous night. Ed is like me, no you got to tell, but most of the time I’m tighted lipped as my consequences would just ruin everything. Ed tells the wife and she accepts it, when Ed asked her how she could feel that way she replies it’s a small sacrifice she needs to pay for to beautiful 25 years. I taught that was bullshit. So I’m back to square one why men stray.

On another note I think Marina is having cold feet about her wedding. The woman seems to be in her own world. I worry sometimes about her. Yesterday night I spent an hour long talking to a girl. It’s been a while since Mark talked to a girl… if you know what I mean. This time around I really one to take it slow. My last relationship was more like crash and burn. I don’t want to jinx it or anything. Lets just see how it goes….

Aunt B birthday is this weekend and I’ll beheading over to Klang on Sunday. I’ve been told that there is a killer menu waiting for me. The long awaited honey roasted chicken waits for me…. hahaha.

Emotional Note: To my friends that I have lost touch with over these couple of months. I pray for you. For peace, and health.

Diary: Ponggal Day

Weekend my mum had her annual ‘ponggal’ function. This year there was a less crowded as most of them were headed to the Divine Mercy’s Church in Shah Alam. It was the official opening of the church, as you would have read it in the papers it was a miracle church. It took so long to build as the government weren’t to keen to have a church in the Selangor district as big as the mosque. When the church had legal issue I then found out the inter-working of the Malaysian church. I didn’t know that the Catholic Church had a Legal department which consists of very educated lawyer priests. They handled the case and ‘with Gods Grace’ they won it.

Back to my mums ponggal thing we all woke up at 7.30am with my annoying dad giving commands. Arrggghh the nerve of the man. He always panics or gets too excited which leads to everybody’s nerve. There wasn’t much to do, we cleaned the house and got ready for the visitors. Mum was preparing lunch, vegetarian dishes. She made potatoes dried curry, brinjal chutney, tomato chutney and sambar. Aunt Daisy, Mama and Mum manned the ponggal pot till I was needed to stir the whole ponggal pot. I took turns with Gerard in doing that. Prayers was said, it was cute to see lil Michael say the Our Father as he held a Tamil song sheet as though he was reading from it. The boy really is smart, some how or rather he made me put in the Kim Possible movie and he ardently watched.

I didn’t follow mum and dad to Lady of Good Health Church. I decided to stay back have the whole home to myself. Mark needed to pamper himself. I took a nice long bath. Got my gear out, Body Shop equipment and relaxed. I headed for mass later all refreshed. Weird to see Sentul parishioners in St John with their bf. Why want to hide? Headed home to watch the VMA on MTV. Must say Diddy does have some class. I enjoyed the set and to see Mc Hammer doing can’t touch this again… Memories. And Above all I love the VMA orchestra B.I.G. song.

Sunday I woke up early headed to KLCC to get some stuff. Was so tempted to get some books from Kinokuniya and some CD’s. Been meaning to get James Blunt, Jem, and John Legends CD. I didn’t of course. I took my Sunday nap and did my chores. I baked chicken for Monday’s lunch and it was CSI galore form 9-12

A MAN WHO HAS NOTHING

Diary: Mind of A screw up person

I am not sure what has happened to me at a whole. After my break up with Sharon my life has revolved around my work. I’m definitely over Sharon before you lot can judge me. I guess the break up made me where I am right now, a workaholic just like my dad. Wonder if the same thing happened to my dad as well. After Sharon I had 2 flings I guess. Nothing passed the 3 month mark. I guess my heart wasn’t really in it. But over the last couple of months I kind of been very reclusive. Why I’m not sure. I have shunned out the whole lot of people I know. Not wanting to meet them. One of them is Melman, he wants to meet up but I seem to come up with excuses like work or I’m just too busy. But when he calls I am actually busy with work. I’ve changed allot in a couple of months as I need to change my financial structure. I want things of my own and I need to work it out. I must say I’ve had a very care free life and its time I be a lil more responsible, which means skimming any unnecessary items (disco, wining and dining). From my end this is hard as this means cutting back 80% of my usual lifestyle which I must say is quite hard for me.
I am not sure what has happened to me at a whole.

My current lifestyle is quite bland but I seem to find serenity in it. My lifestyle now is cooking, reading and watching DVD’s. Now if I want to have Italian I will just have to make my own. Sad but true… Why am I saying all this? Because I’m too chicken to tell anyone face out. Pride is involved nor do I want anyone asking me questions like what is your expenditure that you need to make such a drastic change. I’m not actually inclined to explain anything (being reclusive here.). I know I’m mad but that’s how I am right now. I might not change. I know being like this will just make me feel friendless and lonely but part of me likes the serenity the quietness of it all. No more running around sleepless nights, hanging out in packed clubs.

Merdeka Day

What does Merdeka Day mean to someone who knows nothing about Independence? To me I know Malaysia got their independence 31 August 1957 what does that do for me. When I think about it, it doesn’t actually mean much to me. A public holiday which I make good use of, meet up friends or just have a good rest in. I don’t think my grandfather would not approve how I celebrate my Independence Day. Growing up as a kid there use to be a time I would wake up early to watch the march past but now I just change to channel 61 and watch Kim Possible safe the day. I don’t think I’m independent anyway. Period.

Sometime I wonder, was in worth it our independence? What would it be like under the imperial rule of British? I think it would have turned out great. Why do I say that? Good example, look at Hong Kong. The place now is so modern that most countries look up to it. Can you imagine what it would be like if Malaysia was still under the British ruling? I’m not saying we aren’t good or we lack behind. I think under the British rule there would be uniformity. Something that I would like to see happen in Malaysia. Equal opportunity given to all but that of course is asking too much. When will we have a PM who is not Malay? I do not like politics as it is a sensitive subject and I would like to play ignorant as it doesn’t affect my life. But sometimes questions like this do pop in to my head. I’m afraid to talk more as what I may type maybe able to get me caught under the ISA act. But please do Ponder what does MERDEKA mean to you?