Monday, September 25, 2006

Diary: Ramblings of a Broken Heart


There is a Frank Sinatra Song that I relate to this topic. Its called I wish her love. My girlfriend wanted me to marry her, overlooking the fact that she is Malay how could I marry her. What do I have to offer? How do I make a lady happy when i myself am not stable in life?

She went back to her hometown and when she came back she asked me where our relationship was heading too. Well what could I say? I told her the truth it would go as far as it could go. She couldn’t accept that answer. There is a man apparently eager to marry her back to her hometown and her mum is persisting that she considers him. I must say I was taken quite a back with the proposal. Made me step out of my norm box and take a look at my life from a different perspective.

Eiena had a fit when she knew about Isma and me, she said I 'mempermainkan' her. Well did I? To my defence I did explain how the relationship would be and we both agreed that we would just enjoy each other’s company. Deep down I kind of knew that the relationship would head nowhere. Shari had a migraine when I told her about it. So where do I go from here? I’m not too sure back in the day, this would have been a good excuse to get sloshed and drown the problems away. But as you get older you know to well that doesn’t do squat. I feel I need to break out, shout or scream. Or there is another therapy, which I’m thinking about which is a lil girlish, but who the hell cares… What I’m talking about? Shopping.

As in love live I’m not going to say I lost my faith in love and I’ll NEVER love again. That would be ridiculous, as those who know me know I’m made to love somebody. I’m planning to take the dating game into a whole new way. I would like some privacy in the matter as I’m unsure how I’d be doing this yet. But it’ll happen. Best of luck to Isma may she prosper always. God Bless.

2 comments:

Shari said...

maybe the problem is you want to have fun with someone; instead you get yourself involve in another "bad" relationship. In your case, there is a pattern going on here.

A relationship that you know is doom from the start. I'm all for taking risks but you need to think the pros n cons of being in a relationship before you actually go for it.

Sorry if my words hurt your feelings as I love you as a friend and won't want any sadness for you.

Plan A Date said...

Maybe you are right, never did see it that way. Thanks for the advise.