Diary: Quick Re-cap and mumblings

It’s been really long since I’ve blogged something in here. I’ve been extremely busy with work and socializing with clients for the past couple of weeks. I packed the pounds and I need too shed them immediately before Christmas. It’s bad enough people are saying that I’m catching up to Lenny. Damm…

Speaking about Lenny, his mother is much better now, she has been removed from the CCU (Something like ICU) ward to the normal surgical ward. She is speaking now compared to the last time I met her. I admire Lenny sometimes, in front of his mum he pulls up a strong stable man able to laugh at anything. Laughter is the best medicine they say and I guess he’s the Patch Adams to his mother. Sometimes I do wonder what I would do if such a fate had befallen me would I be strong nor bothered enough to take care of my parents. Yes you heard me. Those of you who know me would definitely know I’m no model son.

Last 2 weeks I finally met up with Melman. It’s been ages since I met him. We chilled at Thai club and bar fly. Thai club has changed for the worse I’m sad to say. We went there to meet up with Nick to catch up on old times. As usual Nick paid no attention to me I was best being a ghost. We left to Barfly where the music and the crowd was much more happening. Gave the eye to some women, talked to a few. Amazing some of them think I’m an expact, (I’m smiling) took no ladies or number back though. Not really that interested yet. Loads of things for me accomplish before I get woman. Though I don’t mind the company though.

Last week has been an Open house galore for me. Since Monday right up to Friday there was a bukak puasa function I had to go to. That’s the prime reason where the fat has been packing on to. It began on Friday in Park Royal, dinner with Celcom, the most boring bunch of people you will ever meet. It’s like talking to chalk. No wonder loads of people have left Celcom and claim that the people who run it are idiots. The next Monday was
Maxis that was held in Concorde ballroom. This was a proud, snobbish group except this nice beautiful gal who was in charged of a project who was keen for us to enter. Her name was Mazura I think. Sweet Lady, quite friendly.

Tuesday was Concorde again at a place called Melting Pot; it was for the corporate team function I was just enjoying the food. Very nice that had lemonade slush and the food was Negeri Sembilan cuisine. Really rich kind of food ‘berlemak’ if you know what I mean. They had tripe which was so delicious and prawns... yum yum. Wednesday was Sheraton Subang for DiGi. It was my 1st there the food was so-so only the group of people from DiGi was very friendly and I was in my corporate mode selling the company products. Fishing for new contracts.

There was no function of Thursday, thank god but Friday was Hilton PJ. Besides finding a parking was difficult The buffet line was horrendously organize. I didn’t really know where to begin nor end. It didn’t help that there was such a big crowd. I hate crowds so it threw me off. It was also Lester Birthday and we celebrated it weather he liked it or not. We all chipped it and got him a Raoul cufflink and Liverpool Team best goals VCD. Hope he like it.
After dinner, the guys wanted me to follow them for a movie. I agreed I followed Lennys car and made a lil detour to the hospital to meet his mother then we headed to Brew ball for some pool. It’s been ages since I played pool. It’s good that I still suck at it. We played for a couple of hours before the movie ‘GOAL’; it was not really what I expected. Quite weak plot and not much of skills shown for a football movie. Highlight of the movie was watching Liverpool lose 3-2.

Saturday I woke up at 11 after yesterday’s escapade till 3 in the morning. I was really lazy to go out but I forced myself to leave home at 4. I headed to Midvalley; I headed to Jusco for a new pair of work shoes. I also got a new Nike bag which was on sale. I had dinner by myself at Chilies. I had steak and stout while I read my book. The person next to me was trying to hit on the bartender. It was really sad. I left back home tired lugging my shopping items. Mum was hogging the TV with the Vanavil so I had the new HOT magazine, they had cover on celebrity tattoos. Paris Hilton has a rosary tattoo on her ankle which I find offensive. How can you have something sacred on your feet?

Short Prayer

This entry if for my best friends mother. She is sick and I would like to post a get well prayer for her. Which so happens to be from St Augustine.. hahah m,u dad

Prayer for the Sick
Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight, and give your angels charge over those who sleep. Tend your sick ones, O Lord Christ. Rest your weary ones. Bless your dying ones. Soothe your suffering ones.P ity your afflicted ones. Shield your joyous ones. And for all your love's sake. Amen. ~ Saint Augustine

Poem: Unknown

I got this on the Star Youth. It kind of had a mix reflection in my life. Sharing it with you...

I knew that someday it would end,
I knew I'd eventually have to go back to calling you a friend,
Its killing me that now that the day has come,
If it's for the best then where is the pain coming from

I know that deep inside, this is what
I had to do,But it's breaking my heart to walk away from you,
I'm trying my best to appear strong,
But it's hard when a part of me says that in your arms I belong.

I still love you with all my heart,
That's not going to change even though we are apart,
You were my first love and my first kiss,
There are so many of our special times that I'm going to miss.

All the words I ever said or wrote still hold true,
But for now from a distance is where I'll be loving you,
I think you need me as a friend to help you through,
Because there are things I can't control that are hurting you
Maybe we will be together again if it was meant to be,

But for now please dont stop loving me,
Even though I'm not yours I'll still be here,
With a shoulder to cry on, or a sympathetic ear,
The story of love can be quicker than the blink of an eye,
But our story wont be over until the day we die,Until we meet again.

Diary: Sleepy Head, A Wedding and A Pissed of Friend (Part 2)

Well, the wedding ended at about 10.30pm, the lot of us decided to head back. Eddie gave me a lift back home. I felt a lil tipsy when I reached home; I guess the wine was kicking in. I took my bath and sat down to read my book so I could fall asleep faster but I ended up watching the 1st half of the England – Austria game. I was hoping for England to lose and not qualify for the World Cup but to my disappointment they did. I woke up on Sunday and didn’t attend mass. I know I’m a sinner but who’s not. Ever since I’ve been back from London. I’ve had the notion to migrate over there and settle down. Weird part is I feel much more comfortable there than here. The idea of starting a new life in a foreign place seems quite appealing to me. There isn’t anything much for me to be here anyway, segregating myself with the people I know would make the transition process easier not to be missed. I’m really thinking about, maybe not London but someplace foreign. Start afresh.

The week has been hectic as usual, Monday was as usual meeting day. But I had loads to do as we were getting ready for the launch of Yahoo Singapore; we are lil behind schedule. Yesterday I went to University Hospital to visit Lennys mum who is about to undergo a minor surgery. Its nice to see a Lenny banter with his mum and make fun just to ease of the tension in the air. Lenny’s mum is quite worried about the surgery, who wouldn’t even I would if I had to go through it. Its nice to know that UH is a very kept and the nurses are hot.

Diary: Sleepy Head, A Wedding and A Pissed of Friend (Part 1)

The fasting month has started and that only means only one thing Bazaar Ramadan. All kind of food delicacies will be at my disposable. But I haven’t made good use of it as work has taken the toll of me. Again I’m faced with the toil of management. Now they judge my trust in the company. I hate it when my loyalty is questioned. Hmm the thought of screwing them has been in my mind for so long. The company share is no better, my house down payment is due by the end of the year lets see how it goes. Those who owe’s me money better start paying up please, I think I’ve asked quite nicely we don’t want it to be ugly do we? I’m thinking of taking a 2 day holiday, just do nothing go for a movie maybe next week Thursday and Friday.

Last Friday, I was invited over to Lenny’s house for dinner. Lenny lives in Bandar Sri Petaling (I Think). It’s a nice place, a newly built apartment. He has made it quite homely. If you notice these days all apartments/condominiums has an open kitchen, meaning to say it some how is apart of the living room. I don’t really fancy this design as kitchen should be a kitchen and living room be a living room. It should have boundaries. His mother fish curry which was delicious, and to those who know me I stay away from fish but the curry was excellent, she also did a sausage dish. I got some Ayamas roaster on the way, not wanting to come to the house empty handed. I had a lil chat with the mother. She was telling me about her injured leg and how she was coping with it. The doctor suspects that there is a twisted vain in her leg, most likely she is will undergo a minor surgery.

Lenny left me at Salak South station and I headed back home, the train ride felt short as I was quite into my new book. Back home after a long hot shower I headed to my room to continue with my book, I slept while reading my book. I woke up quite late the next day, it was close to 11. I seem to be really tired these days I wonder why? I didn’t really want to wake up but I had too, Andrew was at home so there goes my peaceful afternoon. There was nothing to eat at home for lunch so I decided to go to Sg Wang and get something. I placed an order at my DVD Shop, I was due to pick it up on Saturday. I got Chicken rice for the both of us and headed back. While lunch I watched a DVD I just got, it was an old Black Comedy staring the Wayans brothers. It was growing up in the hood kind of story. I headed to my room to do lil cleaning; my room is a never ending pig’s sty all thanks to my lovely brothers.

In the evening there was a wedding for me to attend my colleague Alicia was finally tying the knot with her long boy friend Mike. I was there quite early; I decided to give Mel a ring. It’s been a long time seen I spoke or meet up with him. Mel picked up the phone with a hint of annoyance in his voice. I don’t blame the guy; I’ve managed to break all the promises when we were supposed to meet. I was supposed to call him after the wedding to meet up but again I screw it up but not calling him. It was late anyway when the wedding finished. The wedding was held at Summer Palace a Thai Thong restaurant. It was 9 course meal which tasted excellent. They had a slide show of their wedding done previously. Their wedding car was an Evo 7 well kept. Looked new.

Phone Subjects

Recently I too have had a crush on someone, and striking up a conversation is such a hard thing. Especially when u call her on her hand phone. They expect you to talk and ask questions they don’t ask you back anything, not as often as you anyway. When I was having my chat with Shari that when her crush has nothing to say he asks about the weather. I laughed my head off when Shari told me about it but yesterday I used that’s same line. I kicked myself over the head for saying that line. What the hell was I thinking?

It’s been a real long time since I’ve done this and I think I’m failing at it. I need help! ! !

Diary: I liked This Week

This weekend has been a blast. It began with Friday when early in the morning Logen called me up and asked why there was no more futsal games being held. Being the teams self proclaimed team manager, I got Jaya to organize a ‘training’ match among ourselves. Hmm what character should I play? Should I play Chewing Gum Fergie or Snotty Jose hahahaha. Well we’ll be playing this Tuesday at Taman Megah. I may not play well but I do manage well. I left office with Nizam at about 8, he dropped me off at PWTC and I headed to the night market. With my usual ritual of nasi goreng ayam I bought it and headed home. A nice long shower and I was in front of the TV watching some movie. I headed to bed early.

Saturday I woke up at 7 but I decided to sleep back in again till 9 where I woke up and made breakfast for myself. I headed to KLCC to do the ritual bill payment and then I was off to Midvalley to do my grocery shopping. I like to do grocery shopping. It kinds of help you unwind. Taking your time to shop. I got lunch on the way and headed straight home where I put my stuff away and had lunch. Watched a lil TV and about 3-ish I took my nap, in hope to wake up to go for mass in the evening but waking up was quite a difficult task so I slept away till much later to the evening. I stayed up way late of the night. I couldn’t sleep due to my mini nap in the afternoon. I watched an old movie. Notting Hill, staring Julia Roberts, Hugh Grant and a bunch of British Actors. It brought back memories. The infamous line ‘I’m jus a gal standing in front a boy asking her to love me’ was spoken which was hilarious as I knew somebody who was so into that line that he carried it in his wallet. You know who you are… hahahaha. Memories I live on them.

I woke up early on Sunday and headed for mass at St Johns, The church of convenience. I said a prayer at the statue of Virgin Mary. I think she was washed down or the rain did that; she looked quite clean. I attended mass I saw Priscilla with her family and my distant relatives attending mass. They were quite surprised to see me, as I’m of those people who don’t really attend my relative functions. I pick and choose which I want to attend most of the time I don’t attend my dad’s side (long story). I headed to KLCC after mass for breakfast. I got the latest HOT magazine and was dishing myself with the latest gossips. I meet up with Shari for a movie. We were to watch the Longest Yard but before that we had a mini smack at SFC. We catched up with our lives, Shari told me about her new crush in her life and we did a lil scrutinizing. After the movie Shari dropped me off at Sg Wang where I did my normal DVD shopping. I met Sachin and his wife at my local DVD place. I searched for a shop which sold Pirated music but there was none. If any of you know where I can get my hands on these kinds of stuff please do inform me.

Diary: Hectic Week

This week has been hell bound, I’ve been under pressure from my Director about how my conduct of my team has been. Due to this I have doubted my managerial skills, to be honest I feel kind of washed out. To err is to be human, but I cannot accept that fact. It’s true that I have too much on my plate and I should share my responsibilities around. But I don’t see anyone capable enough. For example I ask one of my team do a Maxis testing over the weekend but the job was done half hearted and I noticed many of them are giving me the attitude (Marina not you), I think its because of how I treat my staff. It looks like I need to be more stern and heartless a bit. What really pissed me off was my Director threatened me, don’t they know I don’t response well when I’m threatened. Overall I’m just disappointed with myself.

Lenny’s mum has been severely ill. The boy is taking care of her. Lenny has been hit by bad spell every single time. This weekend he is suppose to move into his new apartment with his mum. Morgan has just became a father, he called me up last week to ask how we were and to tell us the good news. It’s nice to read that some of my friends are moving on, Shari best of luck, and yes never keep your hopes up. Disappointments are a so painful. Guess what Shari; I’m also on the same boat as you. But I can’t get the person out of my mind. I think she think me as a friend only…. Hmmmm. What to do? What to do?

Saturday was a lazy day, I woke up went to the market got myself some wanton mee and did what I normally do, which is watched cartoons. Nothing better than watching Kim Possible save the day on a Saturday. Apparently mum didn’t make lunch so I skipped lunch. I watched a French movie which I got on DVD. Must say it was quite a good movie. Thank God for subtitles, it was a martial arts action flick called B13. Recommend to all those who buys pirated DVD’s. I and Dad had an argument when I said I didn’t want to go to church. I didn’t really feel like going.

Sunday I woke up at about 7, got myself freshen up headed to KLCC for a nice peaceful breakfast. I had my favorite Caramel Cappuccino and a some chicken pie for breakfast. It was nice to seat down with a news paper while slurping your coffee. After breakfast I headed to St Joseph’s church not for mass but for the blood donation. As you can say I’m kind of a rare blood type I was taken care of quite well. While the nurse preps me she tells to the other nurse. ‘–B kena ambik 3 bottle ah, dulu ambik satu aje’. M twisted mind began laughing out loud. I was thinking how the nurse was actually milking the cow, which is me. Mum made her usual feast back at home, then it was chores and CSI Sunday

The English Patient, Body Shop and Me

Last weekend I woke up at 10 in the morning made myself a nice BIG breakfast. I made sausages, cheese eggs and burnt toast (on purpose). After making that I was in front of the TV watching my favorite cartoons. I decided to make use the meat that was lying n the fridge. I decided to make wanton, it wasn’t really hard just folding the wanton’s were the problem while preparing, I put in the English Patient DVD. I think we all have heard about the movie. A great love story that won 9 Oscar awards back in 1996. The movie was actually quite interesting; it’s not for those who are still in the adolescent stage who their favorite genre is toilet jokes and action flicks. The movie stars Ralph Fiennes and Kristen Scott Thomas. Beware that the story line is a little draggy by the context of it all was excellent. I give it 4 stars for excellent script writing, story line and the heat of passion between Ralph Fiennes and Kirsten Scott. For those who have seen it please do comment about it in my blog. Thank you.

Andrew came back while I was doing wanton. He was a hungry ghost so I fried the wanton and we had lunch together. He soon later headed to the room for a lil study. All of my brothers are getting ready for their major exams. Andrew is getting ready for PMR which is on the Oct 3rd and Alex, his STPM trials this week. Those guys will definitely do better than me, I’m very certain of it; they are destined for great and better things. I feel a lil jealous sometimes.

One of my gal pals introduced me to body scrub from Body shop and I used it and I must say it felt good. Oh God I sound gay, but nevertheless being a metro sexual man it’s expected off. I was glued to the TV again for AE05. It was held in the Putra Stadium at Bukit Jalil, they even had a Red Carpet session which was a laughing stock. Its not often you see your celebrity come in Waja in it. The show as actually quite good but I do have to criticize on the stage being small and the camera kept showing from a far distance. Other than that all of it was splendid, I enjoyed the show the acts well mention is Ziana Zain’s opening and Siti’s performance of course.

Sunday was Aunt B’s birthday and we all headed to Klang to celebrate it. I got her the Codex which I think she will enjoy

Did anyone catch Ed this week? The Episode was about the loving married couple, the husband was asking his wife for 24 hours of freedom to do ANYTHING he wanted to do for his birthday. The wife agrees under the condition that Ed tells her everything he did that night. Ed was reluctant of the whole idea as it crossed his principles and mine I guess. I time and time again said in this blog I have no clue why married men or steady boy friends stray from their partner. I could never understand the reason, when they had this episode I thought finally maybe now I can understand why?

So the story goes that the man hangs on to a bar try to pick up a gal he doesn’t manage till later in the night where he meets one of his clients. Ed tries to talk him out of it but you know men, always following their dicks then their brain. The next day the guy comes over and is smug about it but he then pleads to Ed not to tell his wife about the sex he had the previous night. Ed is like me, no you got to tell, but most of the time I’m tighted lipped as my consequences would just ruin everything. Ed tells the wife and she accepts it, when Ed asked her how she could feel that way she replies it’s a small sacrifice she needs to pay for to beautiful 25 years. I taught that was bullshit. So I’m back to square one why men stray.

On another note I think Marina is having cold feet about her wedding. The woman seems to be in her own world. I worry sometimes about her. Yesterday night I spent an hour long talking to a girl. It’s been a while since Mark talked to a girl… if you know what I mean. This time around I really one to take it slow. My last relationship was more like crash and burn. I don’t want to jinx it or anything. Lets just see how it goes….

Aunt B birthday is this weekend and I’ll beheading over to Klang on Sunday. I’ve been told that there is a killer menu waiting for me. The long awaited honey roasted chicken waits for me…. hahaha.

Emotional Note: To my friends that I have lost touch with over these couple of months. I pray for you. For peace, and health.

Diary: Ponggal Day

Weekend my mum had her annual ‘ponggal’ function. This year there was a less crowded as most of them were headed to the Divine Mercy’s Church in Shah Alam. It was the official opening of the church, as you would have read it in the papers it was a miracle church. It took so long to build as the government weren’t to keen to have a church in the Selangor district as big as the mosque. When the church had legal issue I then found out the inter-working of the Malaysian church. I didn’t know that the Catholic Church had a Legal department which consists of very educated lawyer priests. They handled the case and ‘with Gods Grace’ they won it.

Back to my mums ponggal thing we all woke up at 7.30am with my annoying dad giving commands. Arrggghh the nerve of the man. He always panics or gets too excited which leads to everybody’s nerve. There wasn’t much to do, we cleaned the house and got ready for the visitors. Mum was preparing lunch, vegetarian dishes. She made potatoes dried curry, brinjal chutney, tomato chutney and sambar. Aunt Daisy, Mama and Mum manned the ponggal pot till I was needed to stir the whole ponggal pot. I took turns with Gerard in doing that. Prayers was said, it was cute to see lil Michael say the Our Father as he held a Tamil song sheet as though he was reading from it. The boy really is smart, some how or rather he made me put in the Kim Possible movie and he ardently watched.

I didn’t follow mum and dad to Lady of Good Health Church. I decided to stay back have the whole home to myself. Mark needed to pamper himself. I took a nice long bath. Got my gear out, Body Shop equipment and relaxed. I headed for mass later all refreshed. Weird to see Sentul parishioners in St John with their bf. Why want to hide? Headed home to watch the VMA on MTV. Must say Diddy does have some class. I enjoyed the set and to see Mc Hammer doing can’t touch this again… Memories. And Above all I love the VMA orchestra B.I.G. song.

Sunday I woke up early headed to KLCC to get some stuff. Was so tempted to get some books from Kinokuniya and some CD’s. Been meaning to get James Blunt, Jem, and John Legends CD. I didn’t of course. I took my Sunday nap and did my chores. I baked chicken for Monday’s lunch and it was CSI galore form 9-12

A MAN WHO HAS NOTHING

Diary: Mind of A screw up person

I am not sure what has happened to me at a whole. After my break up with Sharon my life has revolved around my work. I’m definitely over Sharon before you lot can judge me. I guess the break up made me where I am right now, a workaholic just like my dad. Wonder if the same thing happened to my dad as well. After Sharon I had 2 flings I guess. Nothing passed the 3 month mark. I guess my heart wasn’t really in it. But over the last couple of months I kind of been very reclusive. Why I’m not sure. I have shunned out the whole lot of people I know. Not wanting to meet them. One of them is Melman, he wants to meet up but I seem to come up with excuses like work or I’m just too busy. But when he calls I am actually busy with work. I’ve changed allot in a couple of months as I need to change my financial structure. I want things of my own and I need to work it out. I must say I’ve had a very care free life and its time I be a lil more responsible, which means skimming any unnecessary items (disco, wining and dining). From my end this is hard as this means cutting back 80% of my usual lifestyle which I must say is quite hard for me.
I am not sure what has happened to me at a whole.

My current lifestyle is quite bland but I seem to find serenity in it. My lifestyle now is cooking, reading and watching DVD’s. Now if I want to have Italian I will just have to make my own. Sad but true… Why am I saying all this? Because I’m too chicken to tell anyone face out. Pride is involved nor do I want anyone asking me questions like what is your expenditure that you need to make such a drastic change. I’m not actually inclined to explain anything (being reclusive here.). I know I’m mad but that’s how I am right now. I might not change. I know being like this will just make me feel friendless and lonely but part of me likes the serenity the quietness of it all. No more running around sleepless nights, hanging out in packed clubs.

Merdeka Day

What does Merdeka Day mean to someone who knows nothing about Independence? To me I know Malaysia got their independence 31 August 1957 what does that do for me. When I think about it, it doesn’t actually mean much to me. A public holiday which I make good use of, meet up friends or just have a good rest in. I don’t think my grandfather would not approve how I celebrate my Independence Day. Growing up as a kid there use to be a time I would wake up early to watch the march past but now I just change to channel 61 and watch Kim Possible safe the day. I don’t think I’m independent anyway. Period.

Sometime I wonder, was in worth it our independence? What would it be like under the imperial rule of British? I think it would have turned out great. Why do I say that? Good example, look at Hong Kong. The place now is so modern that most countries look up to it. Can you imagine what it would be like if Malaysia was still under the British ruling? I’m not saying we aren’t good or we lack behind. I think under the British rule there would be uniformity. Something that I would like to see happen in Malaysia. Equal opportunity given to all but that of course is asking too much. When will we have a PM who is not Malay? I do not like politics as it is a sensitive subject and I would like to play ignorant as it doesn’t affect my life. But sometimes questions like this do pop in to my head. I’m afraid to talk more as what I may type maybe able to get me caught under the ISA act. But please do Ponder what does MERDEKA mean to you?

Diary: Movie Escapade

Friday was wonderful; it was when I was given my new BIG task. I was to handle the opening of our Bangladesh office, content wise only. I need to set up the basic equipment and content by 31 August 2005. I sure hope I don’t have to work on that day. Zaki is currently the Project Manager (PM) and as expected it is a last minute deal. I left early on Friday as I just wanted to sleep. On my way back I made a call to Aunt B we talked about stuff, just sharing and all. I stopped by Pasar Malam to get nasi goreng ayam but the shop was closed so I got popiah for dinner. At home I persuaded dad to watch Hostage starring Bruce Willis. It was a great movie I recommend to all those who like action flicks. I stayed up late watching lil TV

Saturday I was rudely awoken by my dad who was having a fit with Andrew as he couldn’t find his Taekwondo’s Uniform. My dad is such ticking time bombs no wonder no one ever talks to him. Aunt B said its my mums fault she be able to reach him, but hey people can only do so much. Kelvin has gone through another break up; poor boy under the cover of pride is hurting. Love hurts. As my dad woke the whole lot of us at 7 in the morning mum made breakfast and I was in front of the TV watching my cartoons. I was to meet up Shari later for lunch and a movie. We were to watch Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. One of my classic favorites, I remember seeing that in the theater with my mum and dad. What made me want to watch it more was actually because Tim Burton directed it, I think he has a real wild imagination and it comes out perfectly on the screen. Catch Big Fish on HBO and you will know what I mean.

After the movie I headed to Sg Wang to get some DVD’s. I got a couple of nice movie. I got Sin City, I know real old but I wanted to see what the hype was about. I also got Crush (All great Casting) and Eddie Griffin movie and my favorite Kim Possible The Movie. I was suppose to meet Mel but I had to cancel as Mum called me to help her do something for church. By 5 I was home took my bath and was out to church. I took advantage of attending mass. I had a sense of clarity when I entered mass. I knew what I had to do about my problem. But I did feel sad as there was something missing. I piece of a jigsaw missing kind of feeling. After mass mum asked me to sponsor KFC and I did and we had that for dinner. Watched another DVD, Eddie griffin one and slept at one.Sunday I woke up real late watched my Kim Possible on TV helped mum make Black Pepper Mutton with Nasi Briyani. Did my weekly chores, took my compulsory Sunday afternoon nap and the day was done.


*P/S: The Pic beside was done by my lil sis Marina. Its me and Siti. I know I hear you guys vomiting but my love to Siti grows strong :P

Diary: The Talk

Work has been quite hectic but nothing really much to complain. Kevin was again bugging with his Maxis content and what not. I tuned him out and got the others done. Its sad that my department that I have has a backstabber among us. My company now is quite big but anything that goes on Mark will know. This person was stupid enough to bad mouth me to one of my peeps. Told on me to my operations manager. Luckily there was no truth to it so now how do I weed out this person. Office politics……

I had a rude awakening about ladies giving birth and what happens to the ‘PART’ when they go to labor. Hasmida is in her 1st trimester I think and she gave us an sight of how things happen in HBKL which lead how a child is born. Do you know the ‘PART’ can be ruptured? GOD I know I’ll stop now but Damm I’m lucky I’m a guy. Selfish but lucky in anyway. I’ve always respected woman highly and after Hasmida’s talk will I’ll say I’ve put you ladies waaaay top. Hats off to you.

State of Confusion

‘Men are BASTARDS.’ Yes you heard me say it. The saying above I have heard most of my lady friends say. To my respond to that statement ‘Yes they are’. I can’t deny the fact that most men give a bad name to their gender. Nor am I saying that the opposite is sacred, pure and holy. Both with flaws which we can have a never ending bitch about. I have loads of single lady friends between the late 20 early 30’s. I find this group of ladies much easier to talk to, mature and do not live under any pretenses. Their only problem is that they are not married and their biological clock is ticking. Some maybe are in a relationship and their boyfriends are too afraid to plunge into Marriage or still fooling around. I think I understand who these women feel. They don’t have any stability.

These women have only one thing in mind. How/When are we going to settle down? Have a family. As they go through life in and out of relationship or get their man to plunge, they begin to think that they don’t need the man. Men are useless anyway; they say they can’t depend on them (see I’m not denying anything here). All the woman needs from a man is his sperm. From there she can take care of everything else. This has been in the thought of these women I have befriended with. Not a bad idea you think. There are so many single moms out there anyway. To be honest I have been coaxed to agree to give my sperm to this whom will not be named if she is not married at a certain age. The agreement is I give the sperm and I don’t take responsibility for the kid.

Before you pass judgment on me saying how disgusting Mark is, typical male! Please let me highlight that I was COAXED. A typical men given the choice to have sex with a lady with no string attach seems very appealing. Hey that’s a one night stand anyway. But to give a lady a child and not be a part of it disturbs me. You can say I brought up lil old school I would like to be with the person (Preferably loved and cherished) when she has the kid and be apart of the kids life. But why did I agree to proposal, because I thought she might be joking and she was in a relationship. It was a strong relationship which I was very sure it would end in marriage. Now she is no longer is in one and don’t believe in one no more. We chatted online the other day when she brought this issue back again.

She said, she no longer wants a relationship, all she wants is a baby and she is set for life. This made me afraid, guess who has to give the sperm I don’t really think I am up for it. I’m about to share something horrible here read the next paragraph if your goody too shoes I will not think any less of you. There is a part of me (the moral side of me) that says this is not good and all and there is another side of me the EVIL me (Always seen when totally drunk currently being suppressed) that says hey this is free unattached sex, you haven’t had much action recently and people you know are moving forward, getting married and what not while you stay alone and slog for the company. Besides your doing a friend a favour and it won’t hurt it in anyway. She asked u. As you can see my evil side has really have an ugly face.

I really don’t know what to do, yes its simple as saying follow your conscience its always right but the Evil me lives in me too its kind of hard not to listen to him. For now I will just let things be nor will I confront her till she confronts me. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Lil Treat

Hi Guys jus a lil treat for those who have the time check out this cute bears and topple them down.

http://www.nobodyhere.com/toren.hier

Diary: Buzy As Hell

Work has been killing since my last entry. I’ve been staying back in the office till late night complying to the new Telco guidelines. The closed one of my short code which made my GM quite pissed off with me. There is only so much Mark can do but my GM and Directors did manage to unsuspended the line and make it work. Now there are so many red tape in the business now its making it hard for me to cheat the public. Hahahahaa. Well I’ll just have to think of other ways.

I had a splendid weekend, after working 7 days in a row I really knew what I wanted. SLEEP. I stayed up really late on Friday watching TV and Initial D on my DVD player then I went to bed only to wake up at 8.30 because of the buzzing of my phones. I shouldn’t have brought my test phones back arrggghhh…. I woke up to find an empty house. No parents, just brothers. I made French toast for breakfast for the kids as I sipped some Kenyon tea which I got from London. Love the taste of it. I did a lil reading and then it was TV time. I watched cartoon more cartoons. I was itching to get into the kitchen. Alex and Andrew were out doing their thing. There wasn’t much I could cook with. I wanted to make a roast chicken but I just couldn’t get the ingredients I needed. I just need to wait till end of the month till I go grocery shopping I guess. Thinking of old Mother Hubbard who had lil in her cupboard, all that was left was cans of soup, a can of spring water tuna and spaghetti. Well I already knew what was for lunch, Spaghetti again!!

I decided to experiment a lil, I wanted to make a spicy tuna with spaghetti. I made a call on mum to ask her how she does her sardine and I improvise with my recipe. I think I made a good spicy tuna mum said so anyway. I attended mass in the evening. It was a good mass, I enjoyed sermon something I really can relate too. Sunday I was really a pig. I got up headed to the market bought breakfast for me and Alex and I enjoyed more cartoons. I did ironing while watching more movies on the tele and later skipped lunch for a Sunday nap. I was rudely awoken by an office call and the rest was just a mellow day……

Cerpen: Tsunami Cinta

Nama ku Ram,aku ingin berkongsi kisah cintaku. Sebuah cinta yang tidak kesampaian. Segalanya bermula semasa ku menaiki tren dari Kedah ke KLTujuanku ke KL adalah untuk menyambung pengajianku dan mencari rezeki di sana. Kelihatan tak ramai penumpang yang menaiki tren pada malam itu.Sebaik sahaja tren hendak memulakan perjalannya, seorang gadis bertudung duduk di depanku. 'Ayunya wajah gadis ini,detik hatiku?

Timbul satu perasaan yang lain dalam diriku. Gadis itu tersenyum kepadaku dan ku membalas. Niat di hati ingin bertanya siapakah gerangan si ayu ini. Aku memberanikan dia dan bertanya 'Hi ke KL juga ke?'. Dia menjawab dengan suara paling manis. Kami berkenalan namanya Wati sebaya dengan ku.

Dia pun sama macamku ingin ke KL untuk melanjutkan pelajaran. Perjalanan yang mengambil masa 6 jam dihabiskan dengan mengenali diri masing-masing. Dia anak tunggal dalam keluarganya. Anak emas katakan. Bercita-cinta nak jadi seorang usahawan wanita yang berjaya. Ku pula yang pertama dari 3 adik beradik. Saya bercita-cita hendak menjadi pengaturcara komputer. Wati akan tinggal bersama Pakciknya bila di KL

Ku bersama kawan yang berkerja di kota. Kami sampai di KL pada pukul 7 pagi. Kami mengucapkan selamat jalan dan kami ke arah masing-masing. Dalam hati nak ku tanya nombor telefonya tapi ku segan. Separuh jalan ku berhenti, ku menoleh ke belakang untuk mencari dia tapi dia tiada. Hati ku berdebar nak sangat ku berjumpa ngannya sekali lagi. Ku mencarinya di platform dia tiada. Ku cari lagi di station tapi besar sangat.

Tiada rezeki nampaknya ku melihatnya lagi. Ku beredar mencari kawan ku di KL. Masa depan ku menanti ku...

Setiap malam sebelum ku menyeberang ke alam mimpi fikiran ku kerap ke hari ku berjumpa ngan Wati. Lirikan matanya menjadi pujaanku. Di manakah dia? Suatu hari ku ke perpustakaan kolej terperanjat ku melihat Wati di sana. Dia tengah belajar berseorangan. Kali ini akan ku dapat nombor telefonnya

Hatiku berdebar bila ku menghampirinya. Kering pula tekak ku rasa. Cantik pula di hari ni, bertudung pink, serupa dia feminin. 'Hi' ku kata dia melihat ku and senyuman manis terukir di mukanya. "Eh kau pun belajar di sini tak sangka ya' ku tanya. 'Ah u pun ke' dia menjawab. Ku menjemputnya ke mamak di sebelah kolej untuk minum, dia menerima. Hari tu kami berborak kosong tapi ku berjaya mendapat nombor telefonnya

Mulalah hubungan kita erat. Berjumpa di kolej disiang dan ber-SMS waktu malam. Ku gembira bersamanya tapi ade yang dengki melihat kami bersama. Sudah sebulan berlepas ku mengenali Wati. Apa yang ku tahu, ku sentiasa ingin bersamanya. Bila ku lihat wajahnya hatiku berdebar. Yang ku tahu...

Aku mencintai Wati. Tapi bagaimana ku ingin meluahkan padanya. Takut pula cintaku di tolak. Teruk lagi kalau dia menolak persahabatan ku. Ku perah otak takde pula idea. Aku menanya kawan baik ku pendapatnya. Cheng kata aku gila nak lafaz cinta kat awek melayu. Habis di potong katanya. 'Hai di KL ramai seperti ku, U tak tengok Sepet ke' ku menjawab. 'Dalam Sepet hero dia mati U pun nak mati ke? Banyak masalah lah' jawab Cheng.

Ku berfikir mengapa ada yang sebegitu memanglah hubungan antara kaum susah sikit. Banyak cerita tentang hubungan dengan melayu pernah didengar. Dalam hati Wati adalah untuk ku. Ku perlu memberanikan diri, tabahkan hati kerana besok akan ku melafazkan cintaku pada Wati. Ahh... gementarnya

Keesokan harinya aku berjumpa Wati di kolej. Aku memberitahunya supaya menunggu ku selepas kelas terakhir. Ada hal hal penting ingin ku beritahu. Sepanjang hari aku tak dapat tumpukan perhatian ku asyik ingat pasal petang nanti. Beranikah ku, Hai apa nak aku katakan, I Love You? Runsing !!!

Petang menjelma dan Wati menunggu ku di depan kolej. Menanti ku dengan senyuman yang dapat mencairkan hati. Aku menyuruhnya ikut ku ke Pizza Hut. Aku mendapat tempat paling jauh dari semua pelanggan Wati menanya mengapa duduk jauh sangat. Ku hanya ujar 'Adelah'. Masanya sudah tiba 'Wati...

'Wati I nak bagi tahu U sesuatu, I cintakan padmu. Sudah lama ku pendamkan perasaan ini. Kamu sudi menerima ku?' dah aku melafazkannya lega rasanya. Wati berdiamkan diri setelah aku melafazkan cinta ku. Cemas rasanya pula, sudahkah ku lukakan hatinya. Terus ku meminta maaf keatas salah silap ku. Wati dengan lembutnya bercakap 'I pun sebenarnya suka kat U tak tahu cam mana nak beritahu. I orang kampung tak pandai nak berkata. Awak fikir boleh ke hubungan kita berkekalan. Kita berbangsa lain macam tak padan aje', mendengar penjelasnya aku pula menjawab 'Kamu risaukan... orang yang melihat kita atau keluarga mengetahui pasal kita.' Wati memberitahu dia takut diketahui keluarganya terutamanya Pakciknya di KL

Aku hanya dapat memujuknya tapi dalam hatiku pun takut jika keluarga ku mengetahui pasal ku and Wati. Wati dan aku semakin erat setelah cinta kita dilafazkan. Setiap hari kita berjumpa, bermanja dan berpengang tangan. Kami saling cinta mencintai. Bila kita bersama ramai juga yang melihat kami tapi kami endahkan aja. Wati kadang2 risau jikau ada mata beritahu hubugan kita kepada pakciknya

Tapi sampai mana kita dapat menyembunyikan cinta kita. Sepandai mana tupai melompat akhirnya jatuh ke tanah jua. Cinta kita diketahui Pakciknya. Pakciknya amat marah bila ketahui Wati ade teman lelaki. Kemarahnya marak lagi bila dia tahu ia bersama seorang budak India. Wati mencuba menjelaskan padanya tapi semuanya tidak dipedulikan.


Wati tak hadir ke kolej beberapa hari malah telefon bimbitnya tak dapatku hubungi. Aku cemas patutkah aku ke rumahnya untuk menjumpanya. Takut pulak pakciknya. Apa patu ku buat. Aku ke rumah Wati nasib waktu itu dia keseorangan. Wati bercerita pakciknya nak dia hentikan perhubungan dia. Pakciknya juga ingin dia bertunang dengan anak lelakinya. Patah hatiku mendengarnya. Wati merayu supaya aku membawanya ke tempat lain. Tapi dimana akan ku bawanya pergi. *Bersambung...*